Thursday, August 24, 2006

Musings of a Grocery Clerk

boy oh boy, somebody went in to the TQR offices and fucked shit up, bro. all the posts in the free market are gone. what happened, me wonders. did the oh so mighty on high archie come down and tweak something? did theo slide his fingers into the pie and fiddle-faddle? hard to tell. can't get in the back door to check things out, either. my passcode (for the super-secret back door sensor lock) doesn't work. hm. strange days.

so, ted, you got yerself some identity issues? gee, i'd feel sorry for you (yeah, i know, that's not what you want from anyone, you just wanted to come here and vent, thought it was safe, but then i, boligard doomey, showed up! hah hah!) but i got a friend who's a grocery clerk that has a wife who is slowly crippling him into a crumpled shape every mother in the iowa would love and he wants to write (don't know why i hang out with this guy, i hate writers) the next great horror novel but only succeeds in setting aside 3 hours a day to scribble down his crazy thoughts, 3 hours that could have been spent doing something useful like maybe putting in time at a second job seeing as how the money is gone and stocking shelves just barely pays the rent on the crappy apartment and the videos, plus there's the fact that he is getting old, and there's a rule somewhere that says when people get old they are no longer allowed to dream. this cat, this writer, says he's about to turn the corner of Crazy and Pitiful street, and he looks it; wan, waxy, sunken dark circles under his eyes, twitchy yellowed fingertips, a funny smell (urine? mildew?), unkempt hair. you might have identity issues, ted, but this writer cat is facing a deep pit few step back from. one good push...

i should send him here to vent. type out his life story, seeing as how he is a writer and that's what writers do, eh? maybe he'd do it, and maybe that'd help him get back on his feet. but he complains of having no time. he complains a lot. i'll ask him and see what he says. maybe we'll save a life, you and i, ted. maybe we'll save a life.


Blogger Theodore Q. Rorschalk said...

The site, the precious site should be working now, Boli. And archie has indeed made some improvements. As to your friend. I'm not above saving lives. However, the circumlocutions involved in said often lead to fates worse than the alternative that you are working on avoiding. It's like the pushers give you something to lower your blood pressure and end up blowing out your liver! My advice is fuck them, and continue. Now dealing with wives is a whole 'nother ball of twine.

8:06 AM  

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