Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Seek & U shall find, ask and the Door will Open

I felt the love today. Jetse de Vries (of CG Tribal Convictions) and new VC Maria Schneider took up the gauntlet I somewhat gently threw down in my January 25th installment of From the Chair:

Dear Investors,

Ten days into the new quarter, we’ve received 15 new ventures. If my math is correct, that’s an average of 1.5 pieces per day, and that’s not good.

The good news is our Winter Issue capital gains are some of the best works, bar none, assembled in one place I’ve ever seen on the Web or in print. Where else can you read a haunting literary piece such as The Knowledge side-by-side with a science fiction action/thriller like Slayground? Not to mention a psychological thriller/horror piece like Wild at Heart next to a sci-fi/literary triptych think piece like Tribal Convictions? Based upon the dichotomy of styles and genres displayed for this Winter Issue, it is clear that TQR’s formula of ‘quality’ being the only benchmark for acceptance is not an idle threat.

The problem may be that TQR is such a different animal than the everyday e-zine that it shocks the sensibilities of most venture capitalists, turns them off to the proposition of passing their hard-earned capital our way. And this was, indeed, part of the plan, that the threat of public scrutiny would act as a scythe to cut down on the random acts of submission by the more spam-oriented VC layed down like tracers from an aegis cruiser upon the ocean of hapless e-zinedom.

I never meant to scare them all away, however.

To remedy this malaise, I call upon those investors who have bought in to what it is we do here in service to the gains and the venture capitalists, alike. While most outsiders look at us with scorn as some kind of Midway distraction complete with cap manager carnies and rigged 3-card-monty grifters, it is a small minority of you who know that this impression could not be further from the truth. That’s why I’m calling on you people, at the grassroots of this floundering revolution to rise up and post your testimonials on writing message boards throughout the land and over the sea. In the hedgerows and wherever malnourished investors gather to ply their trade may be.

Though we be small in number, the force of our will is strong and the sanctity of what we stand for cannot be denied. Don’t let this excellent Winter Issue be the start of something died in vain. Post about us for all you’re worth and then mention how we are open for submissions. If you believe in what we’re doing here, don’t just say so, but write it down where others may see it and respond to your enthusiasm and sincerity.

Sincerely, TQR

The previous ten days of this quarter had yielded 15 capital ventures (math: 1.5 per diem), with 7 of them coming on the very first day, so that pathetic 1.5 ratio is really even more pathetic if you take the first day off the books. Anywhat. Gmailing Web sites, hounding editors with killing kindness and aplomb, not to mention the help and advice of the aforementioned Minutemen VC de Vries and Schneider, and the bounty wrought was 7 cap this fine day. That is the sound of one PBR cracking. Proost!


Blogger boligard doomey said...

plus, i hounded zulu (or whatever, i never get that site's name right) and zoe and a few other writer's corners. i even posted in reader's digest, hah. what a hoot. anywhat, yes, this seemed to work. i plan on doing it again next quarter.

6:50 AM  
Blogger boligard doomey said...

is it lulu? christ, i need a brain lube.

4:30 AM  
Blogger Theodore Q. Rorschalk said...

Whatever it's called, it seems to have worked! Thanks.

9:13 AM  

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