Friday, January 27, 2006

Jan27 '06 Sent Gmail: Taking Care of Bidness

Sent this to the Brat and Maggie Murdock as a supplement to their stints in the Terminal upcoming Feb 15.

Hello you two,

I'm very excited to know you are both ready to go this quarter. Gabby DePlancher will be splitting her haul of Terminaled works between you both. You'll both still have to read all the stories sent up to the Terminal in order to comment on them intelligently, but each piece that originates with you entails its own set of responsibilities, ie you are tasked with writing the VC their acceptance or rejection notice. Being three of you (H3K with you two) makes it easy to break ties with the opinion of the third Terminali in.

Anyhow. You have any questions, just gmail. Meanwhile, go to the Archive on the site and click on it, search for the Terminal Discussions from last quarter and read some of those for homework. And you'll be set.

Sent this to Hal 3000 to see if he still had time to do Insider Trading with one of the characters from the Winter issue's Tribal Convictions.

I realize your reality has changed, hence the question: Are you still planning on interviewing a character from Mr de Vries's CG Tribal Convictions? I totally understand if you can't cuz you berry busy man. Just let me know if you can't and I'll work on it or get somebody else to do it. Thanks.

Next, I gmailed Gabby and Boli a note listing all the submissions I had them doing and asking them if I was up to date. I'm not going to duplicate that list here for reasons of doctor patients confidentiality.

Then, my final gmail went out to GuyLaFloor, who'd voiced her admiration for the CG
Slayground earlier in the week, which led me to think she may want to do some Insider Trading with it as her frame. And lo and behold, Guy was the only same-day reply out of all those gmails. So, here's the whole conversation as it stands at this moment

Gmail Titled: Slayground Interview...

Sent mail The Closer?

I know you're busy, but since you liked Slayground so much, I figured I'd give you the first option on interviewing the author as any of the characters you see fit from within the aforementioned work. Lemme know if'n you're hep to this. If you are, here's Mr. Finch's e-mail: Paul_Finch@sussexmyrichard.orgasm. Give him a buzz.

Guy to me

I am hep to this, with a couple of questions for you first:

1) Do I have to be "serious" about it? Cause my original thought would be about asking Gary how much he works out and how kickbacks from the gun feel and suchforth. In other words, it'd be nothing like the story; it'd be more like when Bridget Jones tried to interview Colin Firth and just kept asking him how many takes he had to do with his shirt off. Is this acceptable?

2) At the end of the story, it pretty much implies the complete annihilation of the human race, at least certain death for the characters in it, so I was a bit stumped about who to interview, unless I interviewed the "terminator" character. Can I sidestep this issue and interview Gary anyhow?

TQRto Guylafloor

The whole concept is that you 'seriously' interview a character from the story, not the author. The types of questions you ask are up to you and Mr Finch. I'd suggest e-mailing him and letting him know what you have in mind so he may be able to get himself geared to be 'in character'.

Your call on who to interview. My inference caused by the ending is that Gary and Pirate are probably now part of the armed resistance fighting the alien terminators to the bitter end right now.

This is so great! Just go with it.

Oh, and you don't really have to set up a time (unless you want to), but can do it in a more leisurely style, like tell Finch you'll e-mail your first question, then wait for his answer in order to send your next one; understanding the process might take a few days or a week. So... knock yourself out. And if you want to post the interview on your blog, cool as hell. Just give attribution and a link to TQR.

Guy to me

That's cool. I understand that it's a character, which is why I picked Gary. I just wanted to be clear that it'll basically be flirting with him cause he's hot in the story, and that it won't be "serious". So if it's ok with Finch, that's how I'm going with it. If you want more serious stuff, I am not your girl for this interview, or probably any of them, cause I can't fake serious like that.

TQR to Guylafloor

Well then you'd better interview Gary as Susan D! Yes. That would be great. Give me some copy!

And so, I assume Guy is in contact with Mr Finch at least. I await the replies from the rest of the crew. A lot of this business is a waiting game. Some of it is a Crying Game. Most of it is a crying shame. But there are the rewards. Which are...the smell of fresh capital in the morning, driving your enemies before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women.

Another Testimonial: Yeah, that's right, we bad!

Received this in response to my Informal Follow-up Gmail to all the VC who submitted capital for our Winter Issue. I thought it might be of general interest, and good PR, to boot.

Dear Theodore,

What a pleasure to hear from you!
I'd accidently lost you somewhere in cyberspace,
and then poof, you appear on my doorstep.
Now, you've been branded and corraled (hope you don't

At the risk of sounding like I'm brown-nosing,
my rejection at the hands of TQR was the kindest,
most encouraging rejection I've ever experienced.
I've been writing for less than a year, and haven't
submitted very often yet, but still, I can't imagine
a finer rejection.

The responder (perhaps you?) said nice things
about my piece and how far it had gone, and
encouraged me to expand it and resubmit.

I wrote back with a couple questions and got
answers immediately.

And now, you're requesting feedback on that

My god, much more of this humane treatment
and I'll suspect you're up to some crime! (File
as potential story plot.)

If I could change one thing, it might be making
your website easier to find. My search for Total
Quality Reading got nothing and I couldn't find
you with a search for literary ezines although
I don't recall the exact words I used in my search.

One other thing I appreciate is that you are
looking for stories of up to 12K! Thanks for
giving us long-winded storytellers shelter
from the flash storms.

I'm looking forward to submitting again soon.

Ruthie Andrews

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Seek & U shall find, ask and the Door will Open

I felt the love today. Jetse de Vries (of CG Tribal Convictions) and new VC Maria Schneider took up the gauntlet I somewhat gently threw down in my January 25th installment of From the Chair:

Dear Investors,

Ten days into the new quarter, we’ve received 15 new ventures. If my math is correct, that’s an average of 1.5 pieces per day, and that’s not good.

The good news is our Winter Issue capital gains are some of the best works, bar none, assembled in one place I’ve ever seen on the Web or in print. Where else can you read a haunting literary piece such as The Knowledge side-by-side with a science fiction action/thriller like Slayground? Not to mention a psychological thriller/horror piece like Wild at Heart next to a sci-fi/literary triptych think piece like Tribal Convictions? Based upon the dichotomy of styles and genres displayed for this Winter Issue, it is clear that TQR’s formula of ‘quality’ being the only benchmark for acceptance is not an idle threat.

The problem may be that TQR is such a different animal than the everyday e-zine that it shocks the sensibilities of most venture capitalists, turns them off to the proposition of passing their hard-earned capital our way. And this was, indeed, part of the plan, that the threat of public scrutiny would act as a scythe to cut down on the random acts of submission by the more spam-oriented VC layed down like tracers from an aegis cruiser upon the ocean of hapless e-zinedom.

I never meant to scare them all away, however.

To remedy this malaise, I call upon those investors who have bought in to what it is we do here in service to the gains and the venture capitalists, alike. While most outsiders look at us with scorn as some kind of Midway distraction complete with cap manager carnies and rigged 3-card-monty grifters, it is a small minority of you who know that this impression could not be further from the truth. That’s why I’m calling on you people, at the grassroots of this floundering revolution to rise up and post your testimonials on writing message boards throughout the land and over the sea. In the hedgerows and wherever malnourished investors gather to ply their trade may be.

Though we be small in number, the force of our will is strong and the sanctity of what we stand for cannot be denied. Don’t let this excellent Winter Issue be the start of something died in vain. Post about us for all you’re worth and then mention how we are open for submissions. If you believe in what we’re doing here, don’t just say so, but write it down where others may see it and respond to your enthusiasm and sincerity.

Sincerely, TQR

The previous ten days of this quarter had yielded 15 capital ventures (math: 1.5 per diem), with 7 of them coming on the very first day, so that pathetic 1.5 ratio is really even more pathetic if you take the first day off the books. Anywhat. Gmailing Web sites, hounding editors with killing kindness and aplomb, not to mention the help and advice of the aforementioned Minutemen VC de Vries and Schneider, and the bounty wrought was 7 cap this fine day. That is the sound of one PBR cracking. Proost!