Ignore me will ya?

This blog is dead. I've got to go sit on the toilet really bad right now. I've got a turtle head pushing through the cheeks and it's very uncomfortable. If I didn't have this complication and I could stay here and type for a while I'd give you all a big dose and piece of my mind! But as it stands, adios!

Ignore me, will ya? I'll Beer $ UR Asses!

Nobody's returning my gmails. I need to get a copy of Cyberevenge, Inc by Eugie Foster cuz I have lost my copy. Maggie is having that family crisis, so I may need to parcel out her remaining capital asset to one of her compatriots in the Terminal. How I lost my copy is anybody's guess. No knew posts in the Terminal since Tuesday or Wednesday, they have until the 15th of December to hash everything out. Yes. I'm upset. But what can you do? The employees work for free and they are very good at what they do. It's just that they have not all bought into the 'dynamic content' business model, thus we experience long stretches of inactivity when there should be corn a poppin' almost every day!

Memo to self: 'Beer Money' stipends ($5-25 checks, or possibly even higher) to staff, based on merit.

Edited Dec. 2nd, 2005 -- 1:32 MST

Have I gone off my nut? This could alienate some very good capital managers! How am I going to implement this new 'Beer Money' policy so that I motivate staff instead of turn them off?

i ONLY WANTED TO DO AN E-ZINE THAT WAS DIFFERENT AND COOL AND POPULAR WITHOUT IT HAVING TO DRIVE ME CRAZY! tHEN i HAVE TO GO OUT AND SMOKE A CIGARETTE CUZ i'M SO DAMNED FILLED WITH FRUSTRATED OFFAL! wHAT IS OFFAL AND WHAT AM i DOING REFERNCING IT IF i DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS! sO WE RELY ON OTHERS CUZ IT'S HOW WE GET THINGS DONE WITHOUT CURLING UP INTO A FETAL BALL OF OUR OWN IMAGINING AND ... BUT YOUR EXPECTATIONS ARE ON A SCALE UNKNOWN TO THEM AND THEY WANT TO TARRY DOWN AT BASE CAMP, AND FORGET ABOUT LIFE FOR A WHILE. sO YOU FIND YOURSELF UP THERE IN THE BLIZZARD, LOST, HEARING THE YOWLING OF THE YETI AND SNOW LEOPARD THAT WANTS TO TEAR YOUR FLESH AND DRINK YOUR BLOOD AND ALL YOU GOT IS A FIST FULL OF MITTEN AND FAT PARKA AND OXYGEN TANK (IF YOU'RE LUCKY!). a LITTLE BEER MONEY WOULD BE NICE RIGHT AROUND THEN, ALTHOUGH IF YOU'RE REALLY ON A MOUNTAIN ALL ALONE DODGING YETI'S AND SNOW LEOPARDS (IT'S FUCKING METAPHOR!!!!!), BEER MONEY WILL NOT DO YOU AN IOTA OF LICK OF GOOD, IT'S A FREAKING METAPHOR, YOU SOMEBITCHES!

Bad News and its Management

Maggie Murdock's real life mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer, which is why Maggie hasn't been very active in the Terminal as of late. We all wish Maggie's mother well, of course. And seeing as how this gig is purely voluntary and unpaid, it behooves me to recognize the difficulty of Maggie's position. So. I sent her a gmail to put her mind at ease, then sent her fellows this to let them know the situation.


Maggie, in real life, is having some personal strife, what with her mother having recently been diagnosed with cancer. So. I have told her that real life intrudes and not to worry about TQR (unless she wants to worry about TQR, as a distraction perhaps) this quarter. She's going to let me know what's up here soon. I just thought I should let you all know where the Terminal stands right now as far as Maggie's situation goes.

That being said, one of you should be in the bullpen as far as making the initial post for the piece Cyberevenge, Inc. As soon as we know what's what, I'll either tap you as my reliever, or let you know the starter is staying in.

Remember, in two weeks you will be voting on the capital in the Terminal. Ties go to Architext for yay or nay from on high. Rejects receive a personal gmail quickie critique from the Terminali of origin. Those that go up, go up. Voting will take place in the Terminal. The Conference Room will be utilized by you all in order to hash out which piece goes where, in other words, which piece is genre and which literary and why you think so. It should make for an interesting discussion twixt you all, seeing as how the line between literary and genre (in my humble opinion) is not always so very clear.

Questions, let me know.

It goes without saying Maggie will be missed, but it is also a given that the Terminali will have no problem handling the extra load. Our prayers go out to Maggie's mother.

Bitching and Moaning & Bitching some more!

Blue Jones, TQR's erstwhile portrait artist Blue Jones is not returning my gmails. Alls I asked for were some cosmetic changes on the fine cartooning she'd already done. The Architext is off somewhere playing Dog and Butterfly. It refuses to acknowledge my requests for a public interface 'Investors Forum' be placed in the Free Market, or, at least, it isn't returning my gmails! What should I do, eh? Get tough and gmail them threatening missives? Be patient and wait them out? I've gmailed them and they are unresponsive. And these are the two entities that I've actually paid! The other poor lackeys are doing this crap gratis, donchya know.

Sincerely, me

Crunch Time

The Terminal is sort of inertial these days. Check it out. A few terminali shoot their wads and then not much happens from there. We had some excitement a few days back with H3K and LaFloor getting in each others hard drives over the piece The Road to Zen. We need some more of that passion. And we need some quick. I shouldn't complain, though. Things are moving forward. Guevara is getting in there on a daily basis now, which is cool. Mags has been persona non grata ever since her post on 1.6%. Memo to Maggie: Time to get back in! I gotta gmail Gabby and ask about some of her capital assets, whether they've been rejected or sent to the Terminal. We're trying to figure out how to utilize the Conference Room to its full potential; maybe we'll take a meeting [in the conference room ironically enough] and brainstorm. Lord, let me make it through another day, at least until after lunch then, so that I can start drinking.

Here come old flat top, he come groovin' up slowly...

HostedToday, Gone Tomorrow

Site went down again today. HostedToday is so yesterday tomorrow! I was on them with my claws uncouched, e-mail-ily speaking. My reply -- from some kat with a name like Bargwan Divita, can you dig it? -- was the server is experiencing MYSQL difficulties. ???!!!

Hell?

And I should know what that is all about! Let me tell you something!

THE GODDAMN SITE GOES DOWN ONCE A WEEK AND I DON'T CARE IF IT'S GOT GCHOCOLATE PUDDING IN THE SERVO-LOCKS OR WHATEVER THE FUDGE! THE MONEY I'M PAYING YOU ALL TO HOST MY SITE IS CIRCLING ROUND AND ROUND A CLOGGED TOILET FULL OF SH....aving cream. be nice and clean. shave every day and you'll alway look keen. FURTHERMORE! somebody give me a cigarette, no not menthol, I want a CAMEL or, better yet, one a them PelMel unfiltered things that give you pre-emptive emphysema or however that's spelt so that you can go straight to the ICU and wait out the invevitable black lung whilst being fitted for an iron one ... FURTHERWHAT, BARGWAN, YOUR CYBER STINK REMINDS ME OF SCALING GLACIERS OUTSIDE OF THE FOOTHILLS OF THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS WITH THAT BOOR H.P. LOVECRAFT, OR WAS IT P.J. O'ROURKE, I forget cuz I never did neither, BECAUSE, LIKE HIS DAMNABLE COMPANY ON MY WEAKENED PSYCHE, DEALING WITH YOU PEOPLE IS DRIVING ME COMPLETELY MAD!!!

Then the site re-appeared after two hours of 'Contact the Administrator' cuz this m'fer is down! And all is well again in Muddville. My name is Mr. Mudd. Didn't Primus have a song somewhat along those lines? Sailing the Seas of Cheese was pretty good. 'Johnny wassa racekar driver. Twenty-two years old. Had one too many campires (spelling?) one night. Wrapped himself around a telephone pole .. GO!

Weekly Update -- Terminal Smackdown!

Dear Investors,

This day of our Lord, Nov. 29, 2005, finds TQR heating up in the Terminal. The back-and-forth twixt LaFloor and H3K concerning the capital venture The Road to Zen is wondrous to behold. The proceedings are indubitably professional and good, but also definitely heated. Keep up the good work, I say!

Anywhat, the site hasn't crashed in a week, which makes me hap-hap-happy. Guevara has wandered in from the Louisiana swamps long enough to say his piece on the piece Father in Black. Bully to that! Here's to more Guevara sightings in the near future. I am bullish on the prospect.

Last weeks correspondence with my outsourced server IT geek, Sandeep of Katmandu, ended with assurances that TQR can handle up to 150 simultaneous viewers. Fine ... for now, I suppose, but definitely not enough! In the hours, months and milennia to come, TQR will rise to Google-like traffic capacitations. The server will be upgraded in the near future in order that our expansion goals can be easily realized.

Go with God, and invest in TQR.

Sincerely, Theodore

LaFloor & H3k in midst of Capital Smackdown!

Though nearly respectful and professional, the emnity twixt LaFloor and H3K over their discussion of the piece 'The Road to Zen' is just what I had in mind. Investors crave a bit o' the red, red crovvy with their capital-investment once overs. Please keep it up you two, our stock is rising because of it!

Who will resort to a folding metal chair to the head? Or an eye gouge, even? I'm waiting for one of them to whip out the Figure Four... yahoo!

Guevara AWOL

Half my Terminal staff seem to be absent. Maggie Murdock made her initial post concerning the piece '1.6%' and hasn't been heard from since. Guevara hasn't yet even made an appearance. I know he's been sent 'Slayground' up from the Floor via Ron Y. Raygun. So... we wait. I know they are good people, so I am not concerned overly much.

Update: 1235 MST -- Guevara has contacted me, letting me know he will be in the Terminal sooner than later. Praise be to God! Let's get a move on, says I.